How to Deal with a Breakup when you Move Abroad

Moving to a new place is a big life step that can change everything as you know it. It’s especially worse when you have a partner involved. Some people just aren’t meant to stay together forever. Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain and not for everyone. My boyfriend and I have decided to break up when I leave for London in a couple months, and while I’ve had many nights of crying as the date grows closer, I thought I’d share some insight into how to handle this sort of thing if it ever arrives in your life.

  1. Set a date.
    It’s better to not be unclear about when it’s over. If you’re wondering the exact date it’s going to happen, then that means you haven’t really discussed it and you probably should. It gives both parties something to go by, and lends to less confusion and sadness later when the date actually comes.
  2. Don’t count down the days.
    There’s no reason to keep a tally of how many days, weeks, or months you have left with them, because it’s stressful and feels like an evil clock, ticking away with impending doom. Ignore the calendar and focus on moments rather than a timeline.
  3. Get everything off your chest.
    If there’s stuff you’re feeling, like second thoughts or anxieties about the breakup, it’s better to talk about it and both understand each other. No one likes to bring up touchy subjects, but sometimes it’s better to say what you’re thinking, especially if you don’t have much time left with each other.
  4. Enjoy your time.
    Do everything and anything with that person before they aren’t a part of your life any longer. Don’t sulk and push them away to make it easier for when the time comes. Instead, go boating, explore your local area, stay up all night watching the stars and talking. Be actively involved with them.
  5. Cry/drink/write a lot.
    Anything that is therapeutic for you can and needs to be done. If your vice is to drink alcohol, cry heavily and write in your journal to stow away your sadness, just do it. There is never a bad reason to cry, and while alcohol isn’t the answer for everything, sometimes feeling a bit numb can be liberating, especially in a time when you’re feeling horrible.
  6. Remember, it’s not the end.
    Social media and technology can be a blessing and a curse. The only kind of breakup that can be made healthy with keeping in touch is a mutual breakup due to distance. You didn’t leave that person because you hated them; so stay involved with each other’s lives. You’re still friends and can see each other again in the future. Who knows, you may end up together again someday when fate brings you back to the same location.

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